Laughing...

Okay, it is a stupid name for the soap recipe I came up with (ran through lye calculators, of course). There is nothing new under the sun. Someone may of already came up with this recipe, though few soapmakers use tallow or lard (gasp!!! horrors!!!)

The soap is not ready to use, but I had to try a sliver a week or so after I made it. I used it on my hair and body.

Oh my...

My hair had body, but did not have that icky feeling some soap bars can do to one's hair. I did not use the apple cider vinegar rinse before washing my hair, (good to use if one has hard water), yet, my hair felt like I used a good conditioner after it dried. I tend towards oily hair, this did not cause my hair to look even oily or dirty for 3 days. 3 days, you say? I am a tough tester. It is not like I am going to offend the moose if my hair is icky.

The soap's results on my skin? Lovely. My skin felt and looked moisturized, not sticky. The soap had good lather already and was creamy.

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Hempalicious Soap Recipe

(or Hemp Seed Milk and Oil Soap)

Super-Fatted 6.something %

360 grams Hemp Milk, (freeze and then thaw slightly) (12.70 fl. oz. or so)
139.54 grams Lye

250 grams Coconut Oil (25%)
250 grams Beef Tallow (25%)
200 grams Olive Oil (20%)
150 grams Castor Oil (15%)
150 grams Hemp Seed Oil (15%)


When I mixed the lye very slowly, a tiny bit at a time, into the hemp milk, it turned orange, as you can see. The oils came out a lovely green, as you cannot see because I did not photograph them. I just knew the soap would end up baby-poop brown. It turned a light green instead. A weird green.











When it reached trace, I poured it into a parchment-lined loaf pan. It was a neon pea-soup green by then. Nauseating green.

I do not think the photo shows the true shade. Think ghastly cheesy movie zombie skin. What Linda Blair vomited in that movie so long ago.





I forgot to pre-warm the oven. Oops! The top cracked. For me, no biggie. I slice the soap, then cut those in half. I do not care for large bars. I find them hard to use. My hands are not tiny, but they are not large either.








Here are the slices halved, ready to age 6 weeks. The soap was a little oily at first, but that has soaked in nicely. The green is more like a like avocado green now.

I did not add any scents. I never know what my mood will be and do not want to smell like... melons, for example, if I am not perky that day.

I am never perky, but you get the point.

Remember: Always run a soap recipe through a lye calculator. All the safety stuff should be followed when making soap. There are tons of articles and videos online to help beginners, like me.

*Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor or claim to be one. This recipe is for informational and entertainment purposes only, and should not be construed as medical advice. Always see your favorite Medical, Voodoo, Hoodoo or Witch Doctor/Practitioner, Old Man Tree, Mr. Toad, etc., when you are sick, broken or having a bad day. Always research something on your own. I claim no responsibility nor can be held accountable for any reactions and/or any other undesirable results one may have if they follow and use this recipe, including zits, warts, smelling funny, and so on.